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Went to my doctor the other day and was weighed and realized that despite having my gallbladder removed, cutting meat almost entirely out of my diet and soda entirely out, that I’m STILL gaining weight and now weigh 300 pounds.
I don’t know what could medically be going on, but I know my relationship with food psychologically has never been a good or healthy one. I was thin as a rail when I was in my teens, but most everyone who loved me were saying the same things as my bullies, which was that I was fat and could use more exercise and a more structured diet. And so I thought, if everyone is saying it, it must be true. And I gave up, and now here I am, 20-something years later.
** the first two photos are me as a teenager, and the third is me now **
I didn’t know it then, but the person I saw all those years growing up is what I became and it disgusts and horrifies me.
And now my weight is affecting so many other facets of my health: it’s worsening my sleep apnea, my chronic back pain, my blood sugar, etc. But the only advice they will give me is to make lifestyle changes, to eat less and exercise more – you know, the free fucking advice you can find on Google and that never actually instigates any meaningful change.
As physicians, they have to know that losing weight is difficult enough, but when that person also has depression, it wouldn’t hurt to extend an actual helping hand, say, I don’t know, discuss a weight loss drug or give them a basic nutrition plan, SOMETHING!!
